January 2011
4 posts
“EPIPHANY: (noun) An insight, into the essential meaning of something, often...”
– dictionary.com
Part II
She was on the street corner, staring at the landscape of a place she used to know. But, it all looked so different, now. And the hustle of the people closed in on all sides. Which part of this moment is different, she thought; me or them? And she continued to stare at everything moving fast around her while she just stood still…in one place.
Never in her life, in a city she knew...
“You may ask yourself, what is that beautiful house? You may ask yourself, where...”
– Talking Heads, Days Go By
…Letting the days go by…letting the water hold me down.
Part I
What happens when - in this life you have been living - you realize you’ve been going at it wrong, all along?
You can’t go back and re-do. You can’t go back and change your mind. You are stuck in it, right Now, swimming in a wave of wrong decisions. It’s not like you simply made a bad choice, such as picking margarine...
September 2010
2 posts
“You mean … you mean you don’t like me?
No, of course I like you....”
– Finding Nemo
My mother woke up while I was watching a movie, and she mumbled in her half-sleep voice.
____________________
“I just had a dream that your father wanted to come back to me, but I stood in the doorway and wouldn’t let him in. Isn’t that funny?”
____________________
Sometimes, I wonder if we really grow up to become our parents. If so, I’d love to know which of...
June 2010
6 posts
“There has got to be a better way
….Burning Down The house!”
– Talking Heads
NO, I’m Serious!
My mother and I almost burned it to the ground today over a couple of Mexican Carne Asada plates.
El Fuego Errupto!!!
She was warming up some leftovers on the burner. Then, we got to talking about going out to dinner, instead. Mexican food. Great! Did she remember the burner when she went in the kitchen to wash her hands? No. Did I remember the burner when I went...
“Nothing takes the taste out of Peanut Butter quite like Unrequited Love.”
– Charlie Brown, Peanuts
Yes, I know! This is very bizarre for Elena to actually take a moment to discuss…..LOVE.
If you believe in all that stuff about the alignment of the stars and the energies of the planets, then you may know that as an Aquarian, my open discussion about love is almost unheard of. We don’t do that. In fact, we rarely say the word, itself, in the form of expressing affection. Oh, we...
“Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of...”
– - Simon and Garfunkel
Rummaging through my mother’s drawers, I was looking for a stamp. She said it was in the old cookie tin. What I found in the old cookie tin were some random items, and three very old photographs.
The first photograph looked like a prop from an old War film….black and white faded ink, cracked along the edges, and hidden in a yellowed-with-age Air-Mail envelope. The woman looked hot...
April 2010
2 posts
“Mothers are All slightly insane.”
– JD Salinger
Old, old memories are flooding back. Perhaps, it is the cold and allergy medicine I’ve loaded up my body with. In any case, I’m regressing….
….to Kindergarten, and an incident that will forever be etched in my memory. Who would have thought it would be a sign of things to come? I am a true believer in reading the signs the Universe unfolds. Too bad that little 5yr...
March 2010
3 posts
I loved being a Brownie. I loved the activities. I loved the uniform. I loved hanging out with other girls. More than anything, however, I loved loved loved being in a social setting.
Mom, however, had a different plan. She liked keeping me cooped up at home. She didn’t want me to make friends because - in her twisted mind - they were all a bad influence. If I had any friends,...
“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
– J.K. Rowling
The saying goes: You Can’t Teach An Old Dog New Tricks.
I never liked that saying because I always thought that it wasn’t true. “Old dogs” are just stubborn and set in their ways. It doesn’t mean they can’t be swayed.
Yet, now I’m not so convinced.
When I finally decided to quit smoking, I made a conscious choice to do so. My Mom, on the other...
February 2010
1 post
There's always that ONE thing.....
…that immediately reminds you of your childhood.
It’s that smell that brings you back to Grandma’s house, or that song that takes you back to the day you broke your arm, or that street name that whisks you to a playful time in your old neighborhood.
Today was an unwelcomed rainy, wet day. But, I was in a good mood. So, I threw on my big, yellow rain slicker, and fun fun...
January 2010
3 posts
Note:
The following was written free-hand, while I was hiding under a blanket and using a flashlight to see in the dark……
There is an energy in the air that is wreaking havoc on all the electronics. The TV remote won’t switch channels, so we’re stuck watching the Filipino Channel. My phone keeps freezing up. And, NOW my computer has a virus that I can’t fix...
Today is la la la Laundry Day....
Why do I love this ritual so much?
It involves the tedious chore of separating darks and lights, sticking the bundle in one of those portable cart thingys that you see every little Chinese lady carrying with their various groceries. Then, Mom and I walk on down to the laundromat. I’ve only done this once with her, and already we are a well oiled machine. While she loads the machines, I...
Sometimes, I think the Universe is actually a...
In a few hours, it will be a New Year. I’m so ready for it. And, while I wait to let go of this old one - this year that has caused me so much grief, the Universe has a sneaky little encounter with me. I’m not exactly sure the purpose, but I know it was purposeful…..
You see, my little brother called me tonight.
I have to admit, sometimes I ignore his calls and don’t...
December 2009
13 posts
To the importance of small things....
From:
STRANGER THAN FICTION
As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be okay.
Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies.
And fortunately, when there aren’t any cookies,
we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on
...
“It is with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible...”
– The Little Prince
I am adopted. I grew up with one older sister.
However, in actuality, I am the youngest of six children, born to rice farmers from the mountains of the Philippines. I met my biological parents when I was 18. My Dad (who worked for the State Department) was stationed in Manila.
When we arrived in the wee hours of the morning, having been on the airplane for 22hrs, I wasn’t in the right mind...
MY MAMA: Part 2
Mom: For Christmas, I cook someting simple. When you go to the store, don forget to buy chicken ties.
Me: Like the string to tie turkey legs together?
Mom: No, juss the chicken ties.
Me: Where do I find it, with the Glad wraps?
Mom: What are you sayeeng? Iss in the frozen food, wid the legs and weengs.
Me: [beat]…..oh, chicken Thighs!
Mom: ...
“You there, boy! What day is this today?
Today? Why, it’s Christmas...”
– A Christmas Carol
Note to self:
Never go downtown - on a weekend - a week before Christmas.
What was I thinking?
I understand Now why it’s so easy to get aggravated during the holidays. It’s called PEOPLE.
See, this is why I go grocery shopping at night on a Tuesday. No one is there.
This is why hard alcohol was invented.
This is why fruitcake is still baked and sold.
I don’t know why I wrote that…..it...
“Who is on first!
I’m asking YOU who’s on first.
That’s the...”
– classic Abbott and Costello
I have to submit just a few of what I predict to be MANY hilarous conversations with my lovely, little mother. There is a slight misunderstanding in language sometimes. Her accent is still thick, and I don’t always process her words correctly. She is still set in her old ways, but adapts in her own funny manner. Sometimes, I think we should have our own vaudeville act.
...
“Girls become lovers who turn into mothers. So, mothers be good to your...”
– John Mayer
I spent the night laying in my mother’s bed and listening to her tell me stories of her life. I mean, it has been 11yrs since we’ve really talked or spent time.
After listening to mom for an hour, it was clear that she had become a completely different person from the woman I grew up with. She is a CNA, and she takes care of terminally ill patients at the hospital. Listening to her...
The word "ilaw" (pronounced e-lao) is the Tagalog...
Tomorrow, I’m off to see my mother for the first time in 11yrs.
I thought about this moment a hundred times.
I played several scenarios in my head.
Tomorrow…is 3yrs in the making.
(Pause) In this paragraph, I started writing about the dramatic events that led up to this point. I erased it all…with one click of a ‘delete’ button. Our history is no different than...
“I Can’t Stand The Rain Against My Window…”
– Tina Turner
For two weeks I’ve been in this house
- by myself
- with two cats.
At some point, I had hoped they would start talking to me. But, they haven’t. They look at me like they want to. But, they haven’t. I must have picked the wrong day to quit drugs.
Just kidding. No not really.
….just kidding.
See, what has happened is I’ve started talking to myself, now. I only stop to do things...